Sunday, May 22, 2005

The Good Luck Boys

Welp, I'm getting hitched in 6 days.

The Fella took off for ole' Kalamazoo yesterday for what I hope was a bitchen' bachelor party. I hope there was at least one naked girl there, but probably not. It's entirely possible that they ruined one another on the chess board all evening with 40s and Doritos, but probably not.

The most likely scenario is that they opened the house to the entire neighborhood, brought in a keg and played music real, real loud. He prefers tequila and so it's likely there was a bottle of that around. Striper? I don't know if the boys had enough money for a stripper. There is a lesbian who hangs around quite a bit - she might get naked for them.

Good luck boys.


I miss my Mikes. I won't see any of them for quite a while if ever again...

One of my Mikes is in Hawaii, dark and distant. Miss you sometimes. We haven't talked in a while; the worst part is that it's not like I don't know why.

Another Mike's wife is having open heart surgery this Friday. He himself is treating his prostate cancer successfully. I won't have a chance to share in a bottle of whisky with them until they both recover.

The third Mike, living his last days in the east. I miss you very much. I understand he purchased a college degree and moved from the Philippines to Korea where he taught English, wore $1000 suits and incited bar brawls. Last I heard he walked out on his teaching contract (what does he care about the consequences, he's dying of cancer) to explore Vietnam.

Good luck boys.


I've been reading an epic blog recently The Gimp Report It's of an emergency firefighter who, while fighting an arson blaze in Kentucky, was smashed to near death by a tree - leaving him paraplegic. Of course reading it makes any notion of sadness I've ever experienced seem rather trite.

Good luck, good luck.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Time to put the coffee away for a while.

I am going to be so freaking thrilled when this wedding is over.

I feel like I could strangle someone at any moment. Not that I wasn't high strung before I started planning this event, but I am a coordinator - I organize events for a living. I promised myself that those screechy bitches who whine and complain about how much work it is to organize a wedding were weak and I would never, ever be like them. But here I am being all screechy and bitchy!

I can hardly stand myself.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Coco Chanel

My tiny, spendthrift mother flew from Florida to Michigan to hide in my living room. It was my shower this weekend, you see, and she wanted to surprise me. I walked into the living room and there she was – just standing there smiling. I know, everyone thinks their mother is beautiful, but my mother is truly gorgeous. It took me a second to recognize her, because my face recognition software went haywire for a moment while my mouth gaped and I processed what was happening. She loved it.

The shower was what it was. I’ve never liked going to those type of parties and this time I couldn’t even leave early.

Did we play games? Yes.
Did we eat snacks on prim paper plates? Yes.
Did every one "Ooooh!" while they watched the bride-to-be open each one of her presents? Yes.

"Ooooh, a mixer!"
"Ooooh, a spice rack!"
And I did open a package that contained an aged nighty with a note on it that read:
"Here is one I have had 30 years or so and have worn twice. Hope you have fun with it!" Nope, it wasn’t a gag gift.

My mother gave me a bottle of Chanel.
Now, I know the rule. It isn’t appropriate to use any of the wedding gifts before the wedding - in the case something happens and the event is cancelled all the gifts are to be returned unused. I have followed this rule to the letter despite the all the fine and tempting gifts that arrived. Not so with the Chanel.

I've never had such a precious little bottle of liquid before in my life and I have to make concessions for using it already.

I really think that if I cancelled the wedding my mother would tell me to keep the perfume. I am sure she would say. "Keep the bottle darling, it’s yours and you deserve it."

On the other hand - if I do cancel the wedding, no doubt the nighty will be kindly returned to it's rightful owner.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005


At night we sleep so soundly.
Face to face, our limbs entangled.
My head on your arm - your hand on my back.
Together in unconscious embrace.


I spoon you.
With my face pressed to the back of your neck.
My hand on your heart - my cold feet on your calves.
I protect you from yourself, your self-depreciation, your self-reluctance.


You cradle me.
Your arm encircling my chest - your knees behind my knees.
You protect me from the shadows of who I was, my anxiety, my despair.


We face away.
Backs firmly pressed against the other - a posture of challenge.
A united front against the entire world.