Thursday, July 27, 2006

Cheap Hand Wraps

I couldn't help but be sad when I came home after kickboxing class.

The small compact Asian instructor, Mr. N, reprimanded me before class even started because I forgot and parked in the wrong lot. "Why you park there? I told you when you come in - I tell everyone - don't park there." I'm not sure what the problem is, but I'm guessing his neighbor gives him hell if the students encroach on the wrong side of the parking area.

Then the handwraps I brought were the wrong type and Mr. N found them offensive. "Ooooooooooooh! Cheap-o hand wraps, eh? Why don't you get the ones I told you? Too cheap?" he asked. I tried to explain that the Programming Brawler lent me his; that I thought they were all the same. However, Mr. N continued to suggest that I was simply too cheap and insolent to buy the correct equipment.

Also, at the end of the class, Mr. N reached up and took me by the elbow and moved close to chide me: "The way you stand up is very bad on knee joints. Wrong, wrong, wrong! Don't do it that way again - unless you one of those women who want to be weak in the knees. Bwahahaha!"

Why didn’t he go for broke and point out all the areas where I fail?
• Don't you floss? Why? You want your teeth to fall out?? You must floss every day! Every day!
• Those shoes you wear – too hard on the feet. Those pumps will break your feet. Very bad.
• You think about the past too much. Why you thinking about that stupid thing you said in 4th grade?? No one cares!
• Why you always checking email? You need focus. What's wrong with you? Stop checking email every five seconds. Bwahahaha!

I was sulking about the apartment when I got home, and the Programming Brawler asked what happened. I told him about the parking, the handwraps and that I just found out that the way I stand up is all wrong.

PB – my 6'4" husband said, "What a jerk! I should go pick a fight with him." And then after some contemplation he continued. "And I would too...if I weren't so sure he would totally kick my ass."