Thursday, July 27, 2006

Cheap Hand Wraps

I couldn't help but be sad when I came home after kickboxing class.

The small compact Asian instructor, Mr. N, reprimanded me before class even started because I forgot and parked in the wrong lot. "Why you park there? I told you when you come in - I tell everyone - don't park there." I'm not sure what the problem is, but I'm guessing his neighbor gives him hell if the students encroach on the wrong side of the parking area.

Then the handwraps I brought were the wrong type and Mr. N found them offensive. "Ooooooooooooh! Cheap-o hand wraps, eh? Why don't you get the ones I told you? Too cheap?" he asked. I tried to explain that the Programming Brawler lent me his; that I thought they were all the same. However, Mr. N continued to suggest that I was simply too cheap and insolent to buy the correct equipment.

Also, at the end of the class, Mr. N reached up and took me by the elbow and moved close to chide me: "The way you stand up is very bad on knee joints. Wrong, wrong, wrong! Don't do it that way again - unless you one of those women who want to be weak in the knees. Bwahahaha!"

Why didn’t he go for broke and point out all the areas where I fail?
• Don't you floss? Why? You want your teeth to fall out?? You must floss every day! Every day!
• Those shoes you wear – too hard on the feet. Those pumps will break your feet. Very bad.
• You think about the past too much. Why you thinking about that stupid thing you said in 4th grade?? No one cares!
• Why you always checking email? You need focus. What's wrong with you? Stop checking email every five seconds. Bwahahaha!

I was sulking about the apartment when I got home, and the Programming Brawler asked what happened. I told him about the parking, the handwraps and that I just found out that the way I stand up is all wrong.

PB – my 6'4" husband said, "What a jerk! I should go pick a fight with him." And then after some contemplation he continued. "And I would too...if I weren't so sure he would totally kick my ass."

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can just hear the mans voice. It reminds me when I worked for Grand Master Chung.

3:13 PM  
Blogger Latigo Flint said...

I like the way Mr. N had to reach up to take you by the elbow. And also the self-aware way the PB knew he'd be destroyed if he tried anything severe.

2:12 AM  
Blogger greyguitar said...

But seriously, you don't floss?

Ha, just kidding.

1:00 PM  
Blogger Noir Muse said...

Hey, little K! - Whoa! I forgot about Grand Master Chung. I loved that picture of him and Chuck Norris together. You were such a trooper to work for him as long as you did.

Mr. Flint - Yeah, the PB is always there to defend my honor...as long as the dragon isn’t *too* fiery and scaly. Otherwise, of course, I’m on my own.


Nope Robin, I don't floss much. Only like once a year - you know, for thee consecutive days after my dentist appointment. Eeeew.

3:58 PM  
Blogger Madox23 said...

Wow we have the same hang-ups! I don’t take kick boxing but I think I should, then MR. N could berate both of us! Hey misery loves company.

9:08 AM  
Blogger greyguitar said...

Sadly I floss the three days before and after the dentist appointment and that's it. It's not fun getting yelled at by the dentist--which has happened and could be a blog on it's own, but I'll spare.

8:14 PM  
Blogger Noir Muse said...

Madox, I'd love for you to come to my class. Clearly, Mr. N needs a target and you'd be ideal.

Exactly my thought, LLB. However, for your health and mine I'll just keep that comment between us.

2:48 PM  

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