New Years in less than 350 words

Wonderful. Wonderful. I had a wonderful time. I love New Years. Below is the order of events as I remember. Time is estimated.

7:00 The host and hostess look divine

7:30 Champaign, watercress sandwiches and shrimp cocktail are consumed

8:00 We read aloud from America (the book) by John Stuart

8:15 Our sides ache

8:30 I switch to vodka and demonstrate how to make a “Dirty Martini”

9:00 Where are all the other guests?

9:30 Oh, there they are.

10:00 Libations are consumed

10:30 One, two, three rounds of improv

11:00 I tell an unfamiliar Dave that he is “dangerous” – more vodka

11:30 I try on someone else’s knee high leather moccasins. I make others try them on too.

12:00 Streamers fly, toasts are raised, Auld Lang Syne is sung. Kissing, kissing, much kissing. The boy calls me, and we share a romantic moment. My memory gets a little fuzzy after this.

12:30 I dance to Frank Sinatra – more vodka

1:00 My shoes are off, I’m cuddling with the hostess on the couch and a fella I’ve never met before is rubbing my feet. The fella’s wife stops by to kiss the hostess (I get kissed too). Somehow I am not uncomfortable in the least.

1:30 An embarrassing incident occurs involving the kitchen sink

2:00 I knock my martini glass over the rail – I recover it undamaged. More vodka.

2:30 A game of “Spin the bottle” is begun. I kiss the black haired girl, and bite the lip of that other fella. Somehow I am not uncomfortable in the least.

3:00 Kind partygoers begin to exit, additional kissing

3:30 Dave turns out to be dangerous indeed. He kisses the hostess, kisses me and leaves. Somehow I am not uncomfortable in the least.

4:00 I put on the sleeping mask and go to bed, satisfied with yet another magical New Years. The one day of the year I can drink, dance and get away with kissing everyone in the room.