Voicemail
Sometimes, one of the best things I can do to cheer myself up is listen to the voicemail messages I’ve saved. I started saving them when a good friend left a song on my voicemail, it was Marilyn Monroe's I wanna be loved by you. I saved it to listen to again later and I just decided I was going to keep it. I've started collecting the best ones:
(a crazy acquaintance called during a fight with her crazy significant other)
Hi Carrie, it’s Kathy. I worked all day today and I gotta work again tonight. I could really use a friend right now. Just a minute ago Lloyd poured a bottle of banana liquor over my head. Lloyd, come here and tell Carrie what you did. Lloyd?! Lloyd!.......Don’t “yes” me! ::click::
(this from the programming brawler – said in a bewildered relieved tone. I’ve forgotten what it’s in reference to)
Hi...this is Chad...and...ah...I’m OK!
(my best friend left me this dream sequence)
Hey! I had a dream last night that you skipped work and came to see me and you had your hair done in a 50’s bouffant beehive. Ok, talk to you later!
Now I have a new one. It’s kinda long, but that is my mother’s way. She always starts her messages with “Hi Carrie, it’s me.” It’s like her signature opening; meaningless in itself, but always recognizable.
My mom is so cute. CUTE.
(a crazy acquaintance called during a fight with her crazy significant other)
Hi Carrie, it’s Kathy. I worked all day today and I gotta work again tonight. I could really use a friend right now. Just a minute ago Lloyd poured a bottle of banana liquor over my head. Lloyd, come here and tell Carrie what you did. Lloyd?! Lloyd!.......Don’t “yes” me! ::click::
(this from the programming brawler – said in a bewildered relieved tone. I’ve forgotten what it’s in reference to)
Hi...this is Chad...and...ah...I’m OK!
(my best friend left me this dream sequence)
Hey! I had a dream last night that you skipped work and came to see me and you had your hair done in a 50’s bouffant beehive. Ok, talk to you later!
Now I have a new one. It’s kinda long, but that is my mother’s way. She always starts her messages with “Hi Carrie, it’s me.” It’s like her signature opening; meaningless in itself, but always recognizable.
Hi Carrie, it's me. I just wanted to update you: I'm so proud of myself for this minor thing...but for me it's ...good.
Remember I told you I was going to take a kayak lesson and then the next weekend was the kayak vendor demo? And remember how last week the kayak lesson was canceled because it was so windy and the weather wasn't good for beginners?
Today was the vendor demo. I went to it and I went out on the kayak even though I didn't have a lesson. (sheepish laugh)
I just got brave and I did it. They gave me a quick paddle lesson. I went out and did it! I tried it and I like it and I'm going to get going on this thing!
(now sounding embarrassed) Ok ... so I'm proud of myself because I was kinda afraid to try it .... without a lesson first. (sheepish laugh)
Ok. Good bye. Call me when you get a chance. I love you. Ok. Bye.
My mom is so cute. CUTE.
posted by Noir Muse at 10:55 PM
4 Comments:
I'm glad she didn't kayak in orca waters, or the message might have been quite different.
(Of course, "Orcas Tried to Eat My Mother" would make for a magnificent post title.)
Latigo, can you suggest some orca waters. And maybe someone to loan me some kayak gear for an hour or so?
I would love to be able to post "Orcas Ate my Mother In Law".
Mr. Flint, that would be a magnificent post title indeed. However, aren’t orcas those friendly black and white whales of Sea World? The "golden retriever" of the ocean? They seem so sweet...
Now, now Mike - shame. You know better than that. Orcas aren’t anywhere near Texas! Try this: “Armadillos Ate my Mother In Law"
They're killers Kid--the purest killers on land or sea. Watery parks neuter and use electroshock to keep 'em in line. And even that only postpones the inevitable savagery.
(Love the new pic.)
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