Hell hath no fury like a bride scorned
I made a special trip to Kalamazoo this weekend to meet with a habitually delinquent caterer who wants a website in exchange for providing the food for my wedding. He hasn't sent any of the information he promised me, is unavailable by email and often won't answer his cell phone. He's the cutest 50 something, gay caterer you'd ever meet - but he is giving me hypertension!
If you have a business in the wedding industry it is imperative that the bride trusts that you are going to come through on the big day.
He also insists on being called "Chef Christopher" which irritates me just a bit.
Noir: (calling from a busy restaurant where we were supposed to meet) Hello? Is this Chef Christopher?
Man 1: Ah no...this is Terry. (the boyfriend)
Noir: Ahhh...I see then. This is Noir. Is Chef Christopher available? ...We were supposed to meet at one. (ten minutes ago)
Man 1: Oh no. He's sleeping right now - we went to a huge birthday party last night and...just a sec. (background noise is audible through the phone - 'Chriiistopher ... Chriiistopher ... It's Noir on the phone ... She said you were going to meet her at one?)
Man 2: (audible in the background) Oh FUCK!
Man 1: (to Noir) He's freaking out right now...
Noir: (silence)
(a scrambling noise of a cell phone trading hands is audable) - Noir is very aware of restaurant patrons shooting "drop dead" glances to the cell phone user who is ruining their dining pleasure.
Noir: (silence)
Man 2: This is Chef Christopher, I am so sorry.
Noir: Did you get mixed up with the time change, Chef Christopher? (giving her best shot at kindness)
Man 2: Well...yes, a little bit... Oh my god... I am so sorry.
Noir: (meticulously pushing the tines of the fork down through the tablecloth) So, what do we do? Can you still meet with me?
Man 2: ...Yes! Yes, I can. What time can you meet?
Noir: (Rolls eyes) What about if you tell me when you can meet. (voice is tense but is trying to sound sweet.)
Man 2: What about 5PM? (voice almost pleading) Oh, I am so sorry.
Noir: Five it is. I will see you then.
To be continued…
If you have a business in the wedding industry it is imperative that the bride trusts that you are going to come through on the big day.
He also insists on being called "Chef Christopher" which irritates me just a bit.
Noir: (calling from a busy restaurant where we were supposed to meet) Hello? Is this Chef Christopher?
Man 1: Ah no...this is Terry. (the boyfriend)
Noir: Ahhh...I see then. This is Noir. Is Chef Christopher available? ...We were supposed to meet at one. (ten minutes ago)
Man 1: Oh no. He's sleeping right now - we went to a huge birthday party last night and...just a sec. (background noise is audible through the phone - 'Chriiistopher ... Chriiistopher ... It's Noir on the phone ... She said you were going to meet her at one?)
Man 2: (audible in the background) Oh FUCK!
Man 1: (to Noir) He's freaking out right now...
Noir: (silence)
(a scrambling noise of a cell phone trading hands is audable) - Noir is very aware of restaurant patrons shooting "drop dead" glances to the cell phone user who is ruining their dining pleasure.
Noir: (silence)
Man 2: This is Chef Christopher, I am so sorry.
Noir: Did you get mixed up with the time change, Chef Christopher? (giving her best shot at kindness)
Man 2: Well...yes, a little bit... Oh my god... I am so sorry.
Noir: (meticulously pushing the tines of the fork down through the tablecloth) So, what do we do? Can you still meet with me?
Man 2: ...Yes! Yes, I can. What time can you meet?
Noir: (Rolls eyes) What about if you tell me when you can meet. (voice is tense but is trying to sound sweet.)
Man 2: What about 5PM? (voice almost pleading) Oh, I am so sorry.
Noir: Five it is. I will see you then.
To be continued…
posted by Noir Muse at 2:58 PM
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