Annual Noir Christmas Letter

Dear Friends, Relations and Acquaintances,

Merry Christmas Darlings! I just wanted to give you an update on our little family. We’ve been having a great year.

Mortimer is on a roll, thirty-eight days in a row he has vomited on the carpet every morning. Just before I wake up, he jumps off my pillow to run to the carpet (never the hard wood floor) and skillfully hacks up a hairball. Talk about dedication!

The evil kittens Willow and Feral are hard at work clawing up every piece of furniture I own. Even after trimming their claws, they have managed to destroy a two chair backs, the couch cushion and several bar stools. Currently, they are diligently working over my bedspread. With luck, they will shred every soft object in my home to a mound of thread by next year.

The Fiancé is still self-employed as the local computer guy and provoked at least two fist fights this year. It’s the bizarre combination of computer geek and brawler that continues to ever intrigue me.

February was an exciting time for me – within the same week, I was laid off for the first time ever, turned 25 and crashed my car. You know what they say about events happening in threes…well it doesn’t apply to me. I also went to court for driving under an expired license. (My Friday crash brought to light the fact that I hadn’t renewed my license from my birthday that Wednesday. Why hadn’t I renewed my license? Probably because I was in bed and drunk from being laid off on Monday that same week.)

Despite my best efforts for a second job, this dratted economy continues to keep us on the thin side monetarily. I didn’t want that Starbucks shift anyhow, or that Bed Bath and Beyond clerk position. Or that Barns and Nobles job. Linens And Things can kiss it and Pier 1 can go to hell…skinny bitches.

Well darlings, here’s to a fabulous 2005. XXOXOXX

Love and Kisses,

Noir Muse