Matriarch Pie

Thanksgiving was nice. I ate a lot. Drank more. Red wine, white wine, beer, vodka, eggnog, cheap champagne...

However, as I read in a young fellas blog just recently, only kids and losers talk about their drinking habits:

If someone is overly showy and proud about his love for drinking or his great drinking escapades, then is it likely that he is a new drinker and is a loser. Our fathers are the most hardcore seasoned drinkers. They don't ever bother to talk about drinking.

A person can't really argue with the subtle truth to this. But, I digress.

I was surprised by the low level of commitment that was expected of me this holiday. “Just bring a desert” they said. So I brought a buttermilk pecan pie. It’s sort of a custard – butter, eggs, sugar, pecans and buttermilk. Totally delicious – despite the blasphemous frozen crust.

This year was different from other years. This year the honor of holding Thanksgiving exchanged hands from the Fiancé’s Mother to Auntie Velvet. This is because the Fiancé’s mother is going to inherit the honor of hosting Christmas which was long held by her own mother. Auntie Velvet usually holds the less prestigious ‘Christmas Eve party’ which will eventually be thrust into my hands as the newest female member of the family.

Despite only having to contribute a pie, I know it isn’t long before I am expected to take part in hosting a holiday celebration of my own. The highest honor a woman of this family can receive is to host Christmas day. It requires weeks of planning, cooking and decorating. In addition, she must put up numerous family members for days for traveling to attend the celebration.

The second place holiday is Thanksgiving. This also requires much planning and cooking, although the decorating is somewhat less intense and the hostess can assign food items for the guests to bring.

Third place, Christmas eve, is sort of a grooming holiday. Christmas eve is the pre-Christmas bash for in-laws who are going to other homes for Christmas day. This is the holiday where the hostess begins to accumulate Christmas decorations, and becomes the expert at serving Hors d'oeuvres and light dinner. A few presents are opened and there are many libations.

Because I am not married into this family yet, there is still no expectation for me as an adult. No one will hand me the Christmas eve baton until at least next year and even then I may not be deemed ready to start on the long track to the position of Matriarch. Frankly I'm relieved. I don’t mind enjoying the benefits of being the kid well into my 20’s.

Just hand over the wine to this loser and I'll supply the buttermilk pie any day of the week.