Autumn

I've decided to try to be on speaking terms with autumn this year - mostly because a friend warned me that I may grow old and bitter before my time if I continued to hate astrological occurrences and other eventualities of life.

Not that I won’t eventually become bitter. Plenty of time for that.

This time of year, I simply find myself yearning to get completely drunk and crawl under something. A table. Or the covers. Or my desk. The smell of the air in fall makes my conscious mind want to retreat to the back of my skull where I look out of my very own eyeballs like the windows of someone else’s house. Also I end up eating too much. The dialog goes like this, "It doesn’t matter if I eat this brie or not. I'll still be a big fat fatty in the end."

For me, the impulse to do this is as strong as it is for the geese to fly south in a "V" formation or squirrels to gather their nuts (or whatever the hell they are doing out there in the yard. god i hate those things.)

But not this year. Not willingly anyway.

This year I'm going to appreciate the Autumn. I am going to enjoy the colors. I am going to go to a rowdy Halloween party and get drunk and not crawl under any furniture.

Not this year because hating Autumn is like hating the ocean waves or the moon cycles. It's pointless. And it will probably give me wrinkles and an ulcer.

Just what I need. Wrinkles.