Pain.

Ok, how did this happen? I've been sleeping since I was a kid, literally, and now - I'm doing it wrong.

Shouldn't I have mastered this activity by now?

I have a pain in my neck. Christ. How cliche. Slept on it wrong, somehow. I can't do anything right.

So I put heat on it. I try to stretch it. Whoa! Don't stretch it. Don't look to either side. Remember to move the shoulders and head together like a poorly designed robot. Dork. Don't tip the head back to drink - wait, what did that bottle of pain relievers say about alcohol? Oh never mind.