No. 1 Compliment

Previously to today, the best compliment I'd ever gotten:

"She has hips you could do coke off of."

-- Josh W. (describing his then new love interest to his friends)

Perhaps some qualifications are needed here. First of all, those who know me may describe me kindly as "pear shaped," ok? If you don't know what I am talking about here, forget about it, you skinny bitch. Really pear shaped. As in, skeletal collar bones sticking out, little waist and...uh, really wide hips.

Second, he was describing this to his fratboy friends. See where I'm going here? The fratboys I have encountered have only dated size 6 girls at the very largest. And there he is, a fratboy, telling other fratboys that this girl had curvy hips - indulgent, sinful hips. (side note: I don't care for fratboys in general - I find that the fratboy mind-set and my own are mutually exclusive. Josh was the rebel boy in the frat, if you will, dating gentiles with hips and so forth. I do like a rebel...)

Consequently, Josh was the lucky recipient of my best taunt:

"Josh, you bastard, I hope your Neon falls to pieces."

Ahhh, he inspired such passion.

So Josh, you've been replaced. The compliment holding no.1 for over 6 years has fallen. Fallen to:

"You aren't a mild person in the least. Your personality is chili-pepper spicy, Momma-sita."

Great, no? Who wants to be mild, everyday vanilla? God, what a boring fate. It's nice to be assured that you aren't just a passionless, lukewarm, mediocre nobody. I would rather be a terrible nobody who raises hell than a pretty good nobody citizen. It's not that I want to be famous or remembered - I just don't want to go through life without making a wake.

Josh W., if you ever happen to see this, you asshole, and you know who you are, send me a line. I hope you've made it, and I'd love to hear what you're up to.