Hoard Your Contraband

I ate the last diet pill I'd been hoarding for months today.

Ephedra - lovely stuff. I started using it in college. I'd take one 15 minutes before I would have to wake up, hit the snooze, and go back to sleep. By the time the alarm went off again, I was so charged I had no trouble getting up and trotting off to class. Necessary for 16 to 19 hour days, months on end.

Because some people have used ephedra irresponsibly, it's now illegal for purchase in the US.

Ok, people died.

People die drinking alcohol. People die smoking, right? People die eating fast food. Congress doesn't get their panties all twisted up about alcohol, cigarettes or whoppers do they? I'm so pissed! Just give me back my diet pills!

So, I ate the last hoarded diet pill and figured I'd have to order some online and have it shipped. (you will not thwart me damn it) And I found, get this, the only site selling them is a site that also ships psychedelic mushrooms to your door. They only take euros, and send it to you in a nondescript brown package. Believe me, I'm considering it.

I'm thinking I should become a bootlegger. I'll smuggle in the best ephedra pills from Canada and sell them to collage kids, weight lifting fanatics and middle class mothers. I could do it on the weekend. What did they say in business school? Find a need and fill it?

Looks like I'll be taking a trip to Canada shortly to buy my contraband.